Chapter 14: Great Resolve

It is never too late for change. Existence is a cycle of doing and undoing, while pressure is the hand pushing you along its path. A heavy palm shoving you flush, is the same hand carefully guiding you through the ever-changing world. The difference is the strength of your resistance. The perpetual dance of ever-changing rhythms follows your composition with or without you. As an adult, you may spend most of your life doing what feels like undoing yourself if your youth had been heavy. But the same goes for a lighter childhood, alleviated of the weighty responsibilities. That battle is your own, but the cycle is all belonging, since the same variables just move everyone differently. The resistance to it all is yours to set.

Be comfortable with your fragility of flesh and bone. Believing you are bigger than you are saves you from dread but not from the lie. We are blessed to only fear what we are aware of, with the chance to have others who fear what we have not yet encountered. These beautiful pools of experience shape the pressure cycle of humanity. For millennia, humans have been on the path of unconditional ego. It does not take much to switch from nothing to something with our hands behind the wheel. In cruelty and in kindness, it also does not take much to be reset from something into nothing while trying to chase permanence. But purely in kindness, the discipline to appreciate impermanence becomes the permanence you seek.

We no longer exist in a world where survival needs to be competition besides the fact we do. Meaning, it’s not necessary, but it is in millions upon millions of people’s livelihood to suffer in the same way as their ancestors. In a twisted way, it is beautiful how we unknowingly choose self-sacrifice to what we’ve attached to. But the inability to sacrifice our favourite poisons, even if it’s transient, builds a culture of obsession.

This world is filled with obsession hidden as love. Obsessions of perfection, breed obsessions of success, which breed obsessions with what we associate to success. Therefore we idealize our bodies, our partners and our futures before we are even in their possession. A life incomplete yet filled with ideals, it’s no wonder we try to fill the gaps in a hole that gets bigger. Hoarding our pleasures while loathing the consequences, we blame existence for our right to greed. But existence is perfect as we live and die with so much space in between. Our identity is never defined in absolutes so we must not be conclusive. Our identity is created from nothing so it will always be creating and it will always be nothing.

Life is simple so we must not oversimplify it. Human nature is to complicate things to the point where it seems unsolvable; all to give ourselves a meaningful challenge. Oversimplification is to trivialize perfection, creating imperfection. Human nature itself is imperfect, so do not run from yourself. Solve the problem with the problem. Run to yourself and ask yourself to cooperate. Beg yourself for the bravery to share your imperfections and to atone for the hatred down your path. Shame was your ego warning you. Guilt was your ego warning you. Dread was your ego warning you. You are experiencing life, life is not happening to you. Unconditional love is the constant warning that your time is fleeting so you must do your living before you die, rather than dying before you’ve truly lived it all.